at 37.2 degree c, ive officially been sick for a week. i think i will and i must see a doctor tomorrow. this is my resting period, not recovering period. i shouldnt be sick. i should be healthy everyday worrying about nothing. but im worrying about my health every moment.

have you ever wonder how some people have so many ideas on what to write about their life, on a certain topic or some fictional essay. where does these ideas come from? it takes me quite some time to think about 'stuff' to write and many times, i don't write very well and i write too randomly.

did you ever read someone's writing and feel envious, jealous or anger? have you ever feel that why didnt your life is more exciting as compared to the someone elses. but is their life really more exciting than yours? or grass is always greener on the other side? have you ever think about why you felt that way?

i tell you, im so hungry now i feel like i can eat a cow. but i know one slice of bread will make me bloated. it has been like that for the past seven days. dont know what's wrong.

'dont ever think of what others are thinking, because you'll never know what they're thinking'. i dont remember where i hear this from, but how true. the brain is active when we're awake and even when we're asleep. we think about the universe in a day and how could we ever want to know what others are thinking about. unless you have a heroes ability to read others mind. but in reality we dont know what others are thinking. so i try not to bother too much about how others are thinking. it's not easy to do that. but we do. i do. i rewatched star wars episode five lately and remember master yoda said to luke skywalker. 'you do or you do not, you dont try'. sometimes what people say are very confusing. some people say, as long as we've tried. master yoda say, we do or we dont, we dont try. did jedi master yoda trying to booast luke skywalker's self-confident? there are many things in life is possible, but we dont believe it. once we dont believe it, it will never happen.

you can find little things in life that can inspire you. simple things that have complex meanings.

sometimes certain things happened and we tell ourselves, im gonna do this, im gonna do that and 365 days later, we are the same person. sometimes we say certain things to hide our true feelings, our jealousy, our anger, our hatred, etc etc. we say certain things and we only do it initially (and only initially) or we dont do it at all. many times we lie to ourself. we deny certain things are happening. we refuse to believe. but why? is pride really so important? i feel like many of us treat life as a intensive competition. we compete against each other every moment. we want the better jobs, we want high salary, we want pride and status, we want to have many friends and we all want something that we or people around us can be proud of. are you happy in the competition? have you won anything? really?

i really dont enjoy all those dramatic crap. for it being relationship or friendship. i really dont understand at all.

the ladies and i went to play some boardgame. i still enjoy taboo very much, a excellent game to play as a group. it would be better if it's local version as american version got too much slang. the funniest thing is jerlyn said "it's an insect and it's long" ... guess what? i got the right answer. give it a guess... "it's an insect and it's long".

it's about time to sleep. will write more randomly next time.

maybe will see the doc tomorrow. wassup doc! anyway, dont be deaf, project superstar 2, darren cant sing. diya is the one who sing well. (very random hor). okay, the answer is, SNAKE. and yes! how can a snake be an insect my goodness?! haha, cos it's a taboo, she cant say reptile and many other words. everyone should get the chance to play taboo. a great game for get-together.

wi(RED) out
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hate to be sick. health is really very very important. i think i'm feeling better cos i feel hungry more often and usually that means im feeling better.

it didnt occur to me that im not a kid anymore. i think ive been running away from the reality that im growing up and growing old. the reality that i have to work and pay for the bills.

i've just read an article on jobs. finding a job that you enjoy that you like. it is very true that many people are constantly looking for a new job a better opportunity. what are the baseline? people go for the status, the title, the pay, the glamour, and want their family and peers to be impressed. but does that = happiness? i really dont know what will make me happy. im gonna faint, i dont know what to do.

are you happy with your job? do you feel happy working? do you say "YES, it's monday tomorrow" or do you dread every sunday feeling down and depress that monday is coming?

...

wi(RED) out
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